dont call me maybe.
for the love of god, can you please STOP. i know that no one really gives a shit because hey , i dont have a chance anyways, but i know that i watch what i fucking say when i know it bothers people for whatever the reason.. so WHY cant someone do the same for me? yes im being selfish. but sitting in a room hearing everyone talk about it without giving a single damn how i feel , is seriously fucking depressing. im not over it yet. and i know i have to accept it will probably happen , but does it need to be stuck in my face completley ? everyone is allowed one completley selfish complaint. this is mine. i still like him. and this is fucking hard to deal with. you should have come to ME and asked ME about my feelings, instead of getting it from someone else. that would have atleast showed me you care. i thought that going through this once was bad enough. it destroyed my friendships with so many people. and i know its my fault, but i cant help it. i have emotions. and right now im so full of emotions, i dont know which way is up and which way is down.
off track here.
i understand he could die this summer . i do . but HE ALSO MIGHT NOT. THERE IS A GOOD CHANCE HE WONT . i love how youre telling me to be happy , but looking at the WORST POSSIBLE situation. but its cool, ill just go another 2 years without seeing the one person in the world who makes everything better. the one person i trust with everything. the one person im not afraid to be myself around. the ONE person who stuck with me through EVERYTHING and is still right by my fucking side, on the other side of the country. i dont think you understand that i NEED her. to you , shes just some person. to me , shes my bestfriend. that was the ONLY thing i asked for this summer.
